My Nature Abused

A broken branch
I grew
like a river split
in two

I reach back
hold that child,
shield that baby,
heal my baby-girl
who is me

One river
one tree
a woman grown

A Family Christmas 1963

Apparently Sherry took this picture with her Polaroid, because she is not in the photo at all, nor is Mom. I guess someone said something amusing, because Dad is laughing, and everyone else is smiling. I am not amused, but I no longer remember what was going on inside this pouting teenage girl.

Seated, from left to right:
Peter, Anne, Dillis, Ellen
Standing, from left to right:
Botz, Robyn, Dad

918 reborn 1965

Sure feels good to have this site come back to life.

yup, it's #4

Boxing and Wrestling

Dad enjoyed watching boxing and wrestling on television in the 50s, and I would watch it with him. I slowly became more and more repulsed by the violence of boxing and the mock violence of wrestling. I remember seeing "Gorgeous George", a platinum blonde wrestler who used to throw his hairpins into the audience as mementoes. I saw Rocky Graziano and other fighters.

I am not sure why these activities are any better than dog fighting, cock fighting or bull baiting. I would not ban them, because these people are fighting voluntarily, but I find it repugnant in the extreme.

Whatever Happened to Peanuts and Carrots

Long ago, there were two little redheads who used to come to dinner. One or the other would arrive, announcing her name, since they were two members of apparent triplets who all lived in our household. The third one was Botz, who we know as our sister, but these others claimed not to be related to us in any way. The fact that they were identical in looks to Botz made us suspect otherwise.

Peanuts and Carrots both had the same food preferences as Botz, although I think they really loved the foods after which they were named, as well.

I have often wondered what happened to these little girls since then! Maybe Botz can enlighten us?

The Yellow Bus

Yeah, I admit it, this started out as a black and white 1955 Ford. But OH the memories when it is yellow!

The Quarry

All the teenagers in our area used to swim at THE QUARRY. It was a flooded limestone quarry, and it had a sexy aura ... When the kids swam there, I got the impression that it was a place for mating. I went once, found the water deep and cold and green. There were kids diving off the precipitous sides into the deep areas (picture Acapulco without waves). Rumor had it that some kid (or maybe more than one) had died there, probably having dived onto a hidden limestone shelf in the water.

I doubt there was a lifeguard ... I don't remember one. Sadly, when I got to be a high school student, no one seemed to want to go to The Quarry any more, but I still think of it as our town's Riviera.

918

wood housed memories
penny nails secured
wallpaper charged with mood
furniture rotated around rooms
family not comforted

I dreamed of 819 inside-out Otter Lake

I floated like down
laid myself down
my body was flashed with silver
Nana's hair was waving iron gray and silver
pungent pine tar gum stuck to my shoe
I picked up my black paten leather shoe
dreaming of two tall trees reflection shimmering
a silver dollar falling through cold mountain water shimmered
I float myself down
through hair combs laced with silver
tapping coal black shoes
lays my mind shimmering

The day was hot with the hiss of cicadas song
pungent pine gum wafted under cool shade trees
I was floating down to dream
of silver fish and half dollars falling through icy water- shimmering
beneath the shallow root beer colored mountain water
I tasted iron and blood
a curling smoky red snake between my legs
cramping as my face broke the rippling lake's skin
my bleeding madras shorts- vivid
I awoke with a sudden inhale

I dreamed about Otter Lake last night

It was an evening daydream...where I just floated back in time and space. I could smell the mushroom under brush.
It was an overcast day. The lush green was vivid. I was leaning out of the breezeway door looking at the forest walk around. Nana had a two wood plank walk made that arced in a circle and was accompanied by a skinny wood railing. The first building on this path was the outhouse. As a child, when I arrived for vacation at Otter Lake I would run the circular walk way. The boards would bend and heave, my bare feet worried about being pinched between the planks. Once there was a huge snake running ahead of me. I'm not sure who was more frightened. I never saw a snake run before. He took great loopy leaps and disappeared into the forest beyond the wooden path, where my little girl world ended.
then all the memories evaporated...I tried to coax them back but really they just escaped like the snake.

Once again I am peeking through 918's letter slot

I spy something beautiful and old.

fall

918's fashion runway for the autumn attire. tennis anyone?

bonnets

another easter sunday picture in which you see five sisters decked out in their finest 1950's coats, wearing corsages, white gloves, patent leather shoes, or saddle shoes! and easter hats. i actually have on a bonnet!

we almost always had a mad rush getting to church on time. lots of hysteria trying to find the right match to our gloves, or crying because our shoes were lost. "dad, where are my gloves?" "well, I haven't been wearing them!" he would get so frustrated with us and curse under his breath something about the irish and time.

we were late alot. and it was almost always ten minutes late. strange. so, they set the kitchen clock to be ten minutes ahead. somehow, we all liked it this way. it seemed more natural, somehow right. of course our visitors and guests would have quite a start and pack up to leave prematurely thinking it was much later than it was. didn't everyone have their clocks set forward?

918 Easter

This may have been the same Easter in both pictures, I'm not sure.
Check out the stuffed baby duck in my hands!
I loved the skirt E is wearing.
Wasn't mom's dress lovely?
B & I in-front of our yellow bus, our nickname for the old Ford. With great irritation, dad taped over the oil light because it came on one too many times and the engine seized up for lack of oil. His mechanic proudly displayed the motor in public, which may have made dad chuckle? I know my other sisters know more about this story...I invite them to help me out.

caboose

here's the front porch fashion runway. and that is the inner lining of dad's fedora crowning my head. the front of 918 had two landing strips of concrete that made a great perch to view all the coming and going. and it was a very active household with many visitors, always welcomed warmly.

being the baby of our family was like being the caboose of a very fast moving train. i could often get a glimpse of the engine ahead when we were on a fast curve but from my vantage point, i could only go along with the momentum and direction we were headed. sometimes we'd get off track, sometimes go in for repairs, and come out for a smoother ride. it was ALWAYS exciting and unpredictable, not to mention, a little nerve-wracking. i sometimes sucked my thumb when feeling insecure, unsure. where are you?

918 waits

(Almost) Stealing Big Old Jesus

In the parish church, there was a big old crucifix behind the altar, with a writhing and flesh-toned Jesus on it. The large dome of the church was painted with a biblical mural and all those images added to the story of the religion. I have never understood why Catholicism chose to focus on the image of Jesus on the cross, when the promise and wonder of that myth is the resurrection, but anyway ....

In the 70s St. John's started to renovate, to "move with the times", as many other Catholic churches did. They painted over (!) the mural, and they took down the lurid Jesus and leaned him and his crucifix against a back wall of the church.

Dogstar and I went down to see the church one day while we were in Green Bay (I do not recall if we were living there or just visiting at that point). We saw Jesus leaning there, looking dejected. They had put up an empty slim cross in his old place of pride. He seemed forlorn.

We very nearly stole him, dear reader, very nearly. There were a couple of good reasons not to:
1. The POLICE
2. The weight of the cross on our shoulders dragging him off ... and where to?

So we left him there alone. I wonder how he is doing and what he is up to now?

summertime

aaahhhh yes...summertime in the back yard of 918: restful sunday mornings, crossword puzzles, iced drinks, breeze in the birch tree,
exchange of comments, especially the articles of irony and humor.



dad was a hambone in front of my camera on this glorious sunday morning in the backyard, sort of a combination of ease meets shyness.



you can see how blissed-out he could be in this last photo.
he was enjoying this moment.

he was such a loved man...

Who's this good-looking guy?

#4 gets the key

~~~~
#4 reached into the center of the yin yang image and extracted the crystal key. In her hand the key vibrated and a high pitched tone emanated. She fell off the swing and into the red current bushes. #4 was determined to keep hold of the key. Her hand turned white. The garden disappeared and there came a great darkness.
~~~~